Fear and Trembling

I never set out to be a professional ropes course guy. It just kind of happened as a side-effect of my other jobs at camp. I was (and like to think I still am) pretty responsible with an engineering brain and a perhaps too cautious nature and these traits make for a good ropes course manager. When running ropes courses, one of the main topics to come up is fear. Fear of heights, fear of putting on a harness that reveals parts of our waistlines we'd rather ignore, fear of looking silly or not even knowing why--just being afraid. As a facilitator who has had to spend a lot of time up in the trees working with people, dealing with my own fear has been a large part of the job. And I'm proud to say that 10 or so years into the game, I'm still afraid of ropes courses.
I've had two kinds of people work for me as facilitators: good ones and bad ones. Richie was a bad one. He had no fear at all. It was impressive watching him work his way through the trees, never hesitating, never acting like he was on a thin log 40 feet in the air. Casual and cool. But as a fellow facilitator, it was scary to watch. He would frequently release his safety line if it got tangled, exposing himself to gravity should his grip suddenly fail. He would allow his participants to launch themselves off the platforms in ways not approved by his training, exposing them to danger he had not anticipated. He showed no respect for his training or the policies put into place and was a hazard to himself and everyone around him. He should not have worked for me as long as he did.
On the other hand, Angela was quite the opposite. She could not stop thinking about the terrible things that could go wrong up there. She worked hard to make the course as idiot-proof as possible, so there was no way a simple uneducated mistake would result in a participant injury. She stuck to the procedures and held others to that standard. She never lost that fear of what could go wrong. But she never let it stop her either. She was afraid, but that fear guided her, protected her and made her one of my best facilitators.
The scriptures tell us that Fear is the beginning of Wisdom. I think all too often in evangelical circles we make God out to be someone who should not be feared at all. He is loving and kind and gracious, you don't need to tremble before him (thanks to Jesus). But the scriptures don't talk about God that way. Everyone who meets God face to face is very very afraid. They drop to their knees, begging for mercy as they suddenly realize that not only could God wipe them out with a word, but probably should. The scriptures also describe the God that we want to have: a good, kind god who has gone out of his way to reunite us with himself. But how do we reconcile a god who should be feared with a god who should not be feared?
Perhaps fear itself isn't the whole issue. Perhaps it is also our approach to it. One should have a fear of God, for sure. To have no fear is to be like a toddler who has never been allowed to climb. No climbing means no falling. No falling means you don't even realize why you should be afraid. Ignorance does not make you safe. On the other hand, fear can be paralyzing if left unchecked. So many people are afraid to climb up into the ropes course because they are afraid they are going to fall. But it is only because they do not know the equipment, they do not understand that it is nearly impossible to be injured falling from the course because of the systems put into place. Fear of God is the same way. It is a fool that does not fear God. Even if one does not believe in god, they must admit that should god actually exist they should fear him. But fear is the beginning of Wisdom. And wisdom is the equipment that keeps you safe while falling. Knowledge of him, his motivations, his characteristics, his story tempers the fear. The fear still exists, but it does not control. It keeps us from losing what he has given us while the wisdom draws us closer to him. We tremble as we approach the throne, but we still approach it.
I love my God. I am enamored by him. But I also fear him in the same way I fear falling from the trees. It does not keep me from climbing ever closer to my goal, but it keeps me safe along the way.