The Good Stuff is on the Top Shelf

No.

That is what I am saying to the force that is keeping me from writing in this blog for nearly a month.

No. Not one more day.

So, um, what to write about? I hate it when people write blogs about not having anything to write. But in my defense, we really only hate things in other people that remind us of ourselves. That, and this is totally just an exercise to sit me down and get me to start writing--in the desperate hope that something awesome will flow out of my fingertips. Kind of like when you turn on the tv on saturday afternoon in sheer desperation for entertainment and your favorite movie is just starting on That Movie Show For People With No Life. I'm staring at my keyboard right now, wondering how the awesomeness would affect the delicate inner workings of my computer and hoping it fares better than my camera did in the Pacific Ocean.

Ah, the Pacific Ocean. I saw a map today at a church we visited that had the good ol' PC in the middle of the map instead of the usual wrap-around-the-edges treatment it usually gets. Seems like the Atlantic Ocean would have been a better candidate for that, but it did provide a nice empty spot in the middle of the planet for their sign. I feel like I can relate a little bit to the PC. (That's right, we're on an initials-only basis now). I mean, PC always gets the wrap-around just because it happens to be the widest body of water on the planet. And since nobody's bothered to map that giant ocean of trash that's floating somewhere in the middle, then there's really no reason to include anything between Hawaii and New Zealand. It goes the same for me. Being a tall guy, I'm always in the back for pictures, always in the front seat of the car, always being hunted for by small old ladies in grocery stores who only buy things off the top shelf.

But this is my lot in life. Or should I say, these are our lots in life. It could be worse. Nobody even remembers the Arctic Ocean even exists--heck the Antarctic Ocean is still fighting for the right to call itself that. And I, well, I could be short for one. Or still unemployed, poor, starving, or living in Nevada. It could always be worse. Being content in life is really just a matter of perspective, isn't it? The sweet spot is just above average--doing better than most but not so much as to appear snobby or have to work too hard to stay there. And average is just a statistic. You can do whatever you want with statistics! So there. There's the secret to contentedness. A nice even 60%.

Well look at that. I started this thing with nothing to say and I ended up improving everyone's outlook on life. Sweet. Now does anyone know how to get awesomeness out of a keyboard? I think my "ggggggggggggggggggggggggg" Kgey isg stucgk.